On “The Dregs”


I just read an article on carving out time for your self as a busy mother. I know the   writer meant well…but it missed the mark for me.

I think perhaps before we can create this mystical “time for your self,” we must believe that our needs are as important as the needs of others. The other part of this is that the people in our family must believe and accept that our needs are as important as theirs. One without the other would just be more stress and guilt. Not good, but true.

My older sister was a force growing up. She pronounced at age 15 in 1975 to my mother, who was trying to involve us yet again in another “Cleaning Revolution,” “Why should I be okay with the dregs?? When I grow up, I’ll have enough money to pay someone to do all the things I hate to do”. As the middle child, I was only concerned about my mom’s feelings and was just crushed inside to see the sadness in her eyes.

Spiral to 2015-I see it time and time again…mothers accepting “the dregs” so that the peace is kept in their families. But is it peace?? How can it be “peace”, if we, the mothers, are feeling so much turmoil inside as we are forgotten, or our contributions unappreciated???

I understand why the women’s movement in the 70’s came to be. It was formed on the backs of women who were no longer willing to accept “the dregs”.

I am no longer willing to accept “The Dregs”.

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