On Closings

 

I’ve never been good at “goodbye”. I know how to say it. I’m an Army Brat. We’ve perfected it. I don’t know what today’s Brats are like with internet, cell phone and the ability to stay in touch easily.

Part of the beauty of a Brat life for me, was that if something wasn’t working out with someone, or somewhere it was no big deal because you would be moving soon and it would all be behind you.

Airmail was expensive in the 70’s as were long distance phone calls and I wasn’t particularly good at either. My problem with “goodbye” is really with the altering of relationship. I suppose I am an all or nothing kind of soul.

I have struggled with maintenance of relationships my whole life, even within my immediate family. Makes me sound pretty damaged when it’s down on paper.

I do struggle every year when I must let my class of young students grow up and move on to the next grade. I know that I will still see most of them in the halls, but it’s not the same. The connection is never the same. It’s not supposed to be the same. The goal is to help them develop and move on.

I spend the summer repairing my heart-I give so much of it to them. I need summer to remember who I am alone.

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