Yesterday, I was so thrilled to see the names of literary agents, and publishing houses in my email Inbox.
Not as thrilled after I opened and read each one. Rejection of my book…three times in one day.
I am not devastated. A large part of me is relieved to have an answer from each of them. Now I know, who and what is not a possibility.
I still have one publishing house and one literary agent that I am waiting to hear from concerning the acceptance or rejection of my Army Brat Memoir.
I recall so many years ago while waiting to hear via snail mail whether various colleges had rejected or accepted me. I also recall the same reject or accept situation with various young men. Back then, the outcome of both of those situations held my self- esteem.
That is not the case now. I hold my self-esteem and it is not outcome dependent.
I am taking a screenwriting class now, something I knew nothing about prior to the class. I thrive on the challenge of new learning that is related to a passion of mine. An additional thrill is the application of that knowledge.
I bought and downloaded Final Draft (screenwriting software), learned how to use it, and have spent the past 3 mornings from 3:30 AM to 7:30 AM, sitting alone creating a screenplay called, “Leaving Home”.
I am not totally alone…our sweet kitty is in the chair next to mine. Her blissful morning rest provides the perfect energy for this new endeavor of mine.
I am not giving up on my book. I love the story of our young military family moving nine times before I was 15 years old. I love all the historical details I included from that era and all the stories from my 1961-1977 vagabond life.
The process of writing my memoir brought me to a greater understanding of myself and of my family. Through the writing, I forgave hurts long held tightly and then released. This release made room to accept…room to accept the rejection from the people and places where I am seeking either literary representation, or publication.
One of my Mom’s oft repeated sayings is, “Oh well, it’s either going to work out, or it isn’t”. With that pearl of wisdom, I too can rest and write today with perfect energy.